Wow...I haven't written in a while! There have been so many things going on in the last month and many lessons I am trying to learn that the Lord is working on in me. I feel like He has really been prodding me to listen and obey joyfully and willingly...not dragging my feet. Interestingly enough, those are the same things I've been working with my children on! Haha! He has a sense of humor!:)
I am doing an outstanding bible study called "Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus" by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. I highly recommend it to anyone with children! I warn you though, that it will convict and challenge you as a parent like nothing else I've ever read. The book ultimately shows us that we, nor our children, are "good." We are all sinners who will never be "good". We will fail over and over again and ultimately be changed and saved only by the love of Jesus Christ our Savior! It leads us to stop trying to raise "good kids" and raise kids who know they are sinners and need a Savior! (So much for the self-esteem movement.:))
I will admit that I struggle with being a "good mom" most. every. day. I never feel like I'm doing enough. I fail daily at speaking with a "gentle, quiet spirit" and giving grace instead of condemnation. I am a merciful, compassionate person most of the time, so grace is not far removed from my nature. But I also am a sinner who is prideful and a "people pleaser" at times. I want to look like a "good mom" with "good kids" who behave in public and say "yes mam" and use their manners each and every minute. I feel like they reflect on me. I want children who obey the first time every time and smile as they do it. I. want. that. I have always understood that "good parents=good kids."
But that is such a lie! Some of the "best" parents I know have children who rebelled, turned away from what the Lord would have. I know others who love the Lord and do all the "right" things, but their family was anything but perfect. That's because every person has free will! The book says, "Seeking to be faithfully obedient parents is our responsibility; granting faith to our children is His." I have been so ashamed to think of things I have thought before and have such a new compassion for other mothers! Instead of seeing a mother with a screaming, disobedient child and thinking, "She must not discipline!" we should be thinking, "Oh my goodness, I wonder if I can help her!" or offer her a word of encouragement.
Instead of perfect, little self-righteous Pharisees, God wants children who love Him so desperately and realize that they need Him so desperately! We can follow all the rules and "look good" and be so far from the Lord. So I have to ask myself, "Is my goal to have children who follow all the rules and are "good Southerners" or do I want children who love the Lord no matter the cost!?" The book points out that God gave us the law to see that we can't ever follow the rules on our own! Wow-really something to think on! So instead of "saving" our children when they break a rule, God wants us to hand our children to Him willingly and then be able to let Him have his way...do what it takes to break their hearts and make them know they need a Savior. This is really difficult. I don't want to see my kids hurt. I want to stop them from making any mistakes so they don't have to suffer the hurt of the consequences. But that isn't life. And it isn't my life.
God holds a mirror to our faces through our children. Again, such a sense of humor. Because when my children just stand there and look at me when I say, "Come here!" my pride is hurt...I think, "What am I doing wrong??? Why in the world aren't they moving???" And then God says... "Maggie, what did you do when I told you to ___________ yesterday???" Ouch..."Well Lord, I stood there. I didn't obey right away. I even ignored you!!!" How thankful am I that God is slow to anger? How thankful am I for mercy and grace? How unbelievable that He would love me in spite of ME!!!??? Oh Lord, have mercy on me a sinner! Help me to give that grace to my children.
As a teacher and parent, I have always thought it important to say I'm sorry when I mess up. To be transparent and show my babies that I am not perfect. But I have still acted as if I can control my own destiny. That I messed up, but I'll fix it next time...I'll fix it. No I won't, God will help change my heart to think and act differently and fix it next time. I am learning...today I spoke in a not-so-quiet voice to my babies. Afterward, I apologized and told them I was sorry I "yelled". That mommy had been frustrated and I was praying for God to help me. My daughter just replied that, "Yeah, you didn't use your gentle, quiet Spirit.":) We prayed for God to help both of us have hearts that want to obey and love others. We are commanded to love...even when we don't "like.":)
There is so much more that I am learning through this study, and I will try to keep up better! But for now, I am trying to rest in the arms of a Father who loves me, and my children, so very much more than I could ever imagine.
"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever." Psalm 106:1
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Cor. 12:9
How wonderful to have peace in knowing that we serve a good God who gives us grace freely. To know that I should boast in my failures, my weaknesses, so that I might grow closer to the Lord and know him more as he works in me.
So next time you see me, when my children are not obeying right away, being less-than-pleasant, or just plain out having a fit, instead of turning red and condemning myself for being the "worst mom ever", I will strive to remember that they are little sinners, living with a mom who is a sinner, and we can both only be saved by the grace and love of a Savior, who we so desperately need. And if you see me...maybe ask if you can help.:)
I am doing an outstanding bible study called "Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus" by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. I highly recommend it to anyone with children! I warn you though, that it will convict and challenge you as a parent like nothing else I've ever read. The book ultimately shows us that we, nor our children, are "good." We are all sinners who will never be "good". We will fail over and over again and ultimately be changed and saved only by the love of Jesus Christ our Savior! It leads us to stop trying to raise "good kids" and raise kids who know they are sinners and need a Savior! (So much for the self-esteem movement.:))
I will admit that I struggle with being a "good mom" most. every. day. I never feel like I'm doing enough. I fail daily at speaking with a "gentle, quiet spirit" and giving grace instead of condemnation. I am a merciful, compassionate person most of the time, so grace is not far removed from my nature. But I also am a sinner who is prideful and a "people pleaser" at times. I want to look like a "good mom" with "good kids" who behave in public and say "yes mam" and use their manners each and every minute. I feel like they reflect on me. I want children who obey the first time every time and smile as they do it. I. want. that. I have always understood that "good parents=good kids."
But that is such a lie! Some of the "best" parents I know have children who rebelled, turned away from what the Lord would have. I know others who love the Lord and do all the "right" things, but their family was anything but perfect. That's because every person has free will! The book says, "Seeking to be faithfully obedient parents is our responsibility; granting faith to our children is His." I have been so ashamed to think of things I have thought before and have such a new compassion for other mothers! Instead of seeing a mother with a screaming, disobedient child and thinking, "She must not discipline!" we should be thinking, "Oh my goodness, I wonder if I can help her!" or offer her a word of encouragement.
Instead of perfect, little self-righteous Pharisees, God wants children who love Him so desperately and realize that they need Him so desperately! We can follow all the rules and "look good" and be so far from the Lord. So I have to ask myself, "Is my goal to have children who follow all the rules and are "good Southerners" or do I want children who love the Lord no matter the cost!?" The book points out that God gave us the law to see that we can't ever follow the rules on our own! Wow-really something to think on! So instead of "saving" our children when they break a rule, God wants us to hand our children to Him willingly and then be able to let Him have his way...do what it takes to break their hearts and make them know they need a Savior. This is really difficult. I don't want to see my kids hurt. I want to stop them from making any mistakes so they don't have to suffer the hurt of the consequences. But that isn't life. And it isn't my life.
God holds a mirror to our faces through our children. Again, such a sense of humor. Because when my children just stand there and look at me when I say, "Come here!" my pride is hurt...I think, "What am I doing wrong??? Why in the world aren't they moving???" And then God says... "Maggie, what did you do when I told you to ___________ yesterday???" Ouch..."Well Lord, I stood there. I didn't obey right away. I even ignored you!!!" How thankful am I that God is slow to anger? How thankful am I for mercy and grace? How unbelievable that He would love me in spite of ME!!!??? Oh Lord, have mercy on me a sinner! Help me to give that grace to my children.
As a teacher and parent, I have always thought it important to say I'm sorry when I mess up. To be transparent and show my babies that I am not perfect. But I have still acted as if I can control my own destiny. That I messed up, but I'll fix it next time...I'll fix it. No I won't, God will help change my heart to think and act differently and fix it next time. I am learning...today I spoke in a not-so-quiet voice to my babies. Afterward, I apologized and told them I was sorry I "yelled". That mommy had been frustrated and I was praying for God to help me. My daughter just replied that, "Yeah, you didn't use your gentle, quiet Spirit.":) We prayed for God to help both of us have hearts that want to obey and love others. We are commanded to love...even when we don't "like.":)
There is so much more that I am learning through this study, and I will try to keep up better! But for now, I am trying to rest in the arms of a Father who loves me, and my children, so very much more than I could ever imagine.
"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever." Psalm 106:1
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Cor. 12:9
How wonderful to have peace in knowing that we serve a good God who gives us grace freely. To know that I should boast in my failures, my weaknesses, so that I might grow closer to the Lord and know him more as he works in me.
So next time you see me, when my children are not obeying right away, being less-than-pleasant, or just plain out having a fit, instead of turning red and condemning myself for being the "worst mom ever", I will strive to remember that they are little sinners, living with a mom who is a sinner, and we can both only be saved by the grace and love of a Savior, who we so desperately need. And if you see me...maybe ask if you can help.:)
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